EXPLAIN YOURSELF JIF AND SMUCKERS GRAPE DUDE
For the record in Savage IX I named all of my teams after some favorite episodes of the office, season X I named all of my teams after lines from the poem Ozymandias by Shelly (a favorite poem that reminds me of the folly of pride), this season my teams are named for my favorite episodes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and in honor of this we are playing all games in The Spectrum.
1. Dennis Rodman - In Savage X, my critical failure was in defense. I wanted to control my defensive presence this season. Rodman's defense with elite rebounding is what I felt would be critical in helping me control possessions. His seasons where he plays SF are critical to maintaining that advantage.
2. Ben Wallace - I love his defense, and his rebounding is quite nice. He plays a fairly clean game for his defense in terms of fouls. I wanted to see what I could do with two solid defenders and solid rebounders knowing full well that I would be scrambling for usage the rest of the draft.
3. Karl-Anthony Towns - UK represent!!! Rebounds yes, usage and good efg% yes; defense....two out of three ain't bad. I knew that I was going to need to get a scoring big at this point or get stuck with a bunch of big negatives. KAT helps me keep my advantage in rebounding while adding some scoring.
4. Devin Booker - UK represent!!! Some assists, usage with ok efg%, defense....two out of three ain't bad...again. He can play both of my guard spots and can help me stay out of the possession penalty. I felt that this was a reasonable choice. He is like Kobe without the defense and better efg.
5. Tyrese Halliburton - I was afraid this was a reach, but his three seasons give me good per-minute value in terms of performance. Good usage, good efg%, and a good defender. He gets good assists and plays a pretty clean game. This gives me a starting lineup for two seasons that will be reasonable effective.
6. Desmond Bane - Another pick that I was afraid was a reach, also with only three seasons but the last two have good amounts of usage with good efg%. His defense isn't bad, but not good. I also like that he can play up to three positions. I feel like my three-point shooting is now solidified. This gives me four starting lineups now.
7. Aaron Gordon - His Denver seasons give me a lot of what I want. While the defense is middling again, he is still bringing good shooting efficiency with some usage. Rebounding could be better, but that isn't why he is here. His Orlando seasons that I selected will not see a ton of playing time. This gives me five starting lineups and now it is time to really start plugging up holes.
8. Rajon Rondo - UK represent!!! Rondo's defense is great, his passing is great, he rebounds his position well, but of course his shooting is not the best but that is not why he is here. He will be able to keep the offense running efficiently, provided he doesn't get mad when President Obama clowns him for not being able to shoot.
9. Myles Turner - Can defend, play center and PF, shoots well and shoots from deep. Good performance for limited minutes. Not a great rebounder, but I felt I could cover that later on, not to mention that I feel I may already have enough. I wanted to take Noel here (UK represent!!!) but some jerk took him from me.
10. Tom Boerwinkle - I love this guy. Bigs that can pass are my kryptonite. Especially when they can pass and rebound. I would've married some conglomeration of Jokic, Walton, and Noah if possible. Boerwinkle fills the need for the last of my bigs. I can now focus on the SG/SF needs I have. I did consider Nurkic as I love him too, but the defensive issues were worrying me. The seasons I will use the most will not be a determent defensively. The two players that I am targeting are guys I don't like personally, so there may be jokes...
11. James Worthy - TAR HEEL (Much love to Stuart Scott) - I did not tell you guys, but I also drafted A.C. Green to go with him. Not to play, but to make sure that if my team is playing in Houston, he doesn't get busted for soliciting prostitutes. His usage, shooting, and defense are all good and he isn't a wretched rebounder. Not great for passing, but he is here for other reasons. One more person I don't like coming up...
12. Adrian Dantley - You know when the Bad Boys don't like you this should be evidence that your life choices and interpersonal skills are lacking. I mean he isn't Rick Barry bad, but he is still bad. When Dantley introduced himself to the team he said "I'm here to make buckets, get to the line, wave at opposing offensive players, and chew bubblegum...and I just stole some child's bubblegum." After we made him apologize to KAT for him stealing KAT's bubblegum we realized that his high usage with the ability to draw fouls and shoot well was exactly what we needed.