1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
7. What do the Mafia and ******* have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep ****.
8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.