Midge: This is a new feature of the Midge52, a visit with the defending champion. A big welcome to berkelon.
berkelon: Thanks for having me.
Midge: What was your strategy this season?
berkelon: I wanted to shoot a lot of threes and defend the three well. Curry and Holiday was a great start.
Midge: By the way, tell the people where you’re from.
berkelon: Brooklyn, New York, U.S.A.
Midge: Brooklyn, very nice. What do you think of the New York Yankees?
berkelon: The Yankees suck, Brooklyn Dodgers forever!
Midge: Tell us a little bit about Berkie scores.
berkelon: I wanted to come up with a system that was better than chewy scores. What I did was multiply the manager’s age by three, add the number of wins from last season, add in the rizz factor and subtract the number of letters in their wife’s name. I think it worked well. Chewy scores were based on things like eFG%, rebounding rates, defense, turnovers, you know, things that have absolutely no bearing on the outcome of a basketball game.
Midge: Love it!
berkelon: As well you should.
Midge: Any new strategies for the upcoming season?
berkelon: I’m going to have all of my players wear shoes, but no socks. I believe it will make them run faster and jump higher.
Midge: Sounds like a plan, good luck!
(Part two of this interview was not transcribed because the tape was destroyed by the 8-track tape player.)